Prison transfers

Sand or jade?

Chapter 2 (excerpt)

Prison transfers

From the men’s point of view, she is not pure. She is the obvious bad girl. She is liberal.

And she admits that she doesn't need anyone to appoint or accuse her. Yeah, she’s not a good girl, sitting at home all day sewing, sewing, or a good girl who only knows to study, eat and sleep. She’s a bad girl, a bad girl in the literal and figurative sense. She is damaged both physically and mentally, only her mind is not damaged. Her heart is good, she wants to be good.

But wait, let's not talk about the good thing, look at this bad side of hers first. People say she’s a bad girl, she neither admits nor denies. She just accepts it, simple as that. She’s naughty, naughty, naughty just the way she thinks she is, and naughty the way men think she is.

She’s sick of sex, she wants love, but she doesn't mind having sex with people who give her money, and who give her a lot of money. She doesn't deny it, but it's just that when it comes to sex, she loathes it, she shows her attitude, and her attitude makes men laugh and despise, but despite the disdain they have for her, they still rush to her, they still hump on her, and she has more money, a lot of money…

……

Tung's money for her was rarely spent. She had to send it all home. They were all the same, Jenny's family was also poor, just like hers. Jenny, My and her were of the same origin from the West region of Vietnam, they were pampered when they were young, and later on, seeing many daughters of other families went to Saigon and made a fortune out of it, their parents threw them to Saigon.

• Jenny - Ruby asked once. - Did your parents ever ask you what you do? What if they show up here, and stalk us? 
• They won’t bother - Jenny smiled sadly - As long as I send home enough money by the end of the month, otherwise they will really show up, but only to ask for money.
• Even if you're a prostitute, like they care. Nobody got time to examine you - My also sighed.

Kenny Quan, besides his main job to protect the group of three sisters, also took My to work as a prostitute in the evening and sold ecstasy. As a child, My was abused by her father, so for her, drinking is a way to forget about life. My is quite good at drinking, from afternoon to late night only get her tipsy, hardly drunk, neither does she gain weight because My was fasting. She got paid and tipped a lot by customers, but had to invest back in clothes, branded goods, and of course, cigarettes and drugs.

Being asked why she lived so recklessly and if she was afraid of getting STDs, My laughed and said:

• Why be afraid? You only live once. Even my biological father can force me to sleep with him, why not sleep with other men? He just treated me like a prostitute, didn't pay, beat me, and threatened to kill me. Wouldn't it be better to sleep with guys who give you a lot of money? If I got infected, I'll transmit it and let them die as well. Such people shouldn’t exist anyways.

Life in Saigon is cold and soullessly pragmatic. Eat, sleep, make money, send it home. It’s a vicious cycle. Ruby was discouraged, she knew that she didn't choose to be in a new prison, but where would she go? Why is her age of 19 so dark and gloomy? Not knowing where to go, amid pain and misery, suddenly Ruby longed to see her mother in the countryside again.

On the alluvial red soil road lightly covered with asphalt, the afternoon sky slowly turned dark. The immense wind washed away the regrets. She didn't go to her grandmother's house, but circled the motorbike through a dark alley and ran straight to her mother's house not far away. The poor little house, shackled, hiding behind the garden, sneaky like the people living in it.

• Mom… 
• Who’s there? – The voice of her mother, running out from the kitchen in panic.
• It’s me, Ruby. 
• You freaked me out, I thought it was the debt collectors. - Her mother exhaled and then stiffened – What do you want? Suddenly back without a warning. Don’t you usually sleep at your grandmother’s, why did you even bring your backpack over here today?
• Yeah… I…
• I what?

As if suddenly remembering something, she glanced at Ruby, then quickly pulled her into the inner room. She looked at her mother in bewilderment, after hearing the story, she stood up.

• I do not have such a large amount of money!
• Shut up, keep it low, if people hear about this I’ll kill you. 
• I don't have that much, how do you even end up with tens of millions in debt? 
• When I went to the border I missed a shipment, so that's why I'm in debt! – Her mom says attentively- Well, I know that you have a lot of money over there, every month you sent home a few million. Consider this a filial piety to me, I gave birth to you in a difficult time, now you pay me back.
• I'm telling the truth, even if you kill me right now, I don't have a dime. 
• Huh, how dare you. You have money and hide it, I know you make a lot of money there coupling with rich men.

Ruby was shocked.

• Don’t pretend to be pristine, I'm your mother, if I don't know you then who does. I'm a slut, you're no better than me, only you’re dating a rich man. If you can't make that much money from him, you'll be called a stupid slut, a slut who doesn't know her way. 
• Mom, how could you say that? The money I send back is the money I earn myself. I go to work properly, I don't do that job! - Tears are falling from her eyes. 
• Now what? Are you giving me the money or not? – Her mom stood with arms akimbo, staring at her.
• I told you, ask me a hundred times, a thousand times, I will still say the same. It’s too much, I don’t have it! 

Mom looked at her with hatred, glaring, eyes big and small, then smirked meaningfully, then softened, but dangerously:

• Well, that's no problem, just go to sleep and go back to the city tomorrow. If you don't have money, then mom hasno reason to force you. Go to sleep early, baby, you must be tired from the road trip.

She got chills from hearing the sentence, "mom", "baby"? Those two words were spoken with such ease today. Didn't mom just call her a stupid slut? Although she feels something is very unusual, she’s too tired physically and mentally. Well screw it, whatever will be will be, after all, this is an old bamboo cot in her mother’s room. Ruby closed her eyes.

The vrooming sound was getting louder and louder, she woke up, opened her eyes slightly, and saw a few lights shining in from the yard. Suddenly her gut sank, she sat up, went to the edge of the window, looked through the gap, and saw three muscular boys saying something to her mother. She couldn't hear well, but they kept squinting their eyes toward the chamber door. Then she saw them give her mother a pile of money, she covered her mouth. She gets it now.

• Where is she? Are you trying to fool us? - The tallest guy yells loudly.
• She's in there! - Her mother's voice.
• Where? There is no girl in this room. There is your shabby body in here, maybe! – He said and kicked her mother to the ground. 
• Apparently, she was just lying here, I saw her fast asleep and then called you guys.
• Fuck, tricking these guys? Hey, I'm telling you, we don't have time to play hide-and-seek, no girl then no money. - As he said that, he grabbed her mother by the hair, pulled her up, then searched her pocket to take back the money - We sell people to brothels to make money, not luring children that ask for candy. 

The group left after giving her mother one more punch in the stomach. Her mother fell and rolled around in pain. She gritted her teeth, covered her mouth with both hands, and hot tears fell from her eyes.

Out of the reed yard at the pond behind the house, she heard the sound of the three thugs' motorbikes getting farther and farther away, echoing their curses: "A waste of time... What a crazy bitch!". She jumped up, drenched wetly, went straight to the room, snatched the dented backpack that was lying on the cot, ignored her mother's shouting, cursing loudly, pounding her head and neck. Back on the motorbike, driving in the middle of the night, the village road was strangely empty, the wind blew into the thin, wet shirt, sticking to her painful skin. The backpack was empty, with only a few wrinkled shirts left. The money given by Tung was all taken by her mom.

Autobiography of a girl who was sexually abused from the age of 8, recorded together by Hoa Binh and Co.

“Sand or jade?” (Vietnam Women's Publishing House published, 2015)